Khwaja Garib Nawaz - Ajmer Sharif Dargah - A place where I found "PEACE"

"Khwaja mere khwaja, 
Dil mein sama ja

Shaaho ka shaah tu,

Ali ka dulaara"

2014 has been a year filled with mixed emotions. A perfect blend of tragedies followed by 

waves of unexpected success and fame. It was a year filled with tears of sorrow as well as

 happiness. But the thing that was missing was PEACE. My mind kept wandering on the 

roads of pain and mental torture most of the time. From crying my eyes out every night to signing my first autograph ... From smoking marijuana in the hope to find sleep to

connecting with my Fans. 2014, I've experience it all.

I have made some very bad decisions in my life and quitting my Job in May 2014 tops the 

chart. But then I was mentally disturbed ... My mind was always on the Insanity Mode. 

So I don't entirely blame myself for it. 

"Love can make you or break you .. It tore me apart" is a line from my Novel 

Via Delhi-A twisted tale of Love

This was exactly  my condition throughout 2014. The only question that used to loiter on 

my mind every time was "Why me? Where did I go wrong?" and believe me these questions have given me sleepless nights almost every single night in 2014. So now you guys know 

why do you always find me online on Facebook even at 04.00 am. People often tell me that I should not be very open about my personal life in public now that I'm a known writer but I 

laugh it off even thought I know that they are right. I want my life to be an open book for 

as long as I live even though the story is not very gripping. 

The entire year has passed by cursing my life. The only thing good about 2014 was my

debut novel. I ended up becoming a published Author and all that it took was just  one 

book to give me name, fame, success, recognition, newspaper interviews, radio interviews, 

e-magazine interviews etc etc. But was I really happy? NO was the answer. Life was still very much incomplete. By now I had become an expert in faking smiles. It helped me camouflage

a mentally disturbed mind and a broken heart perhaps. Today when I think about it, 

I laugh.

29th December 2014 - Ajmer - A day that I shall always remember.

I woke up around 08.00 am and looked around only to find my parents and little sister 

already dressed up to pay their homage to  Khwaja Garib Nawaz. It was bitterly cold that

morning. The temperature was around 6 degrees. I somehow managed to take a shower 

fearing hypothermia. I know it sounds crazy to use such a hardcore term ... But I was 

seriously shivering. Being born and brought up in Mumbai and then later on spending 8 

years of my life in Hyderabad, I was never really used to cold temperatures.

We were on our way to the Dargah which was briefly a mile way from the Royal Melange 

Hotel. It is said that all your wishes are fulfilled at this Dargah. A prayer made from the

deepest corner of your heart will never go empty and I decided to do just that. I decided to pray .. I decided to ask for so many things ... In short, I became greedy. I wanted it all...

"We entered the Dargah premises and believe me I went blank. I forgot about everything 

else that was going on on my mind just a few minutes ago. I still wonder how did this 

happen. How did I forget everything so soon? And the worst part is that I couldn't even

recollect all that I had decided to ask for. The Dargah was as usual very crowded and with 

the help of a Holy Man who calls himself Baba Fakri we managed to get inside the the actual

shrine through the VIP gate. 

My entire world flipped upside down as soon as I got in and I started crying like a baby. 

I just kept crying and crying without an end to it. I had no clue what was going on. 

There were so many things that I wanted to ask with a greedy smile on my face but I 

couldn't ask for anything at all. 

Khwaja Garib Nawaz knew what I really wanted ... And that was PEACE. 

After paying homage we came out of the shrine and took a seat close to a group of 

Kawali singers who were singing Kawali's. The music was so soothing.... I was enjoying 

the music ... I was actually enjoying something after months. My mind was was at peace .. My soul was at peace .. My body was at peace. I started feeling good about myself .. 

I started feeling good about my achievements in life. I mean how many people get the opportunity to become a celebrated Author at the age of 27? Not many that I know of. My eyes were still pretty moist but then there was a smile on my face. It was like a divine soul had 

just embraced me and healed me completely. Peace was something that was missing in my 

life and peace is exactly what I got. 

On any other given day I am usually lost in thoughts and end up sulking most of the time 

but things were different now as if I had undergone a brainwash therapy. My mind was all of a sudden free from every single thought that used to disturb me. I thought this is just a 

one time gesture. I will be back to being myself the next day but today is the 5th day and 

my mind is still hanging around with peace rather than stupid thoughts. The feeling is just 

like I have attained some kind of a Nirvana. I still wonder how can an emotional fool turn 

sane in just a matter of a few minutes.

 I had indeed experienced a "Healing Touch" 

I have slept like a log ever since I got back home. I am much more happier now...

When you fall down .. You always have two option .. Either to stay down and cry for the 

rest of you life or to get up and start walking again. Khwaja Garib Nawaz helped my get 

back up. He helped me get back my smiles ... He helped me get back the lost PEACE.

3rd Jan 2015 - Present day.

I have just completed writing the 3rd chapter of my 2nd novel and I am confident that this novel will end up taking me places. I am going to chase my Bollywood dreams like never 

before... 

Khwaja Garib Nawaz - Ajmer Sharif Dargah - A place where I found "PEACE"

"Khwaja mere khwaja,

Dil mein sama ja  
Bekaso ki takdir,
Tune hai sawari"